‘Blood-curdling! Hair-raising! Spine-chilling!’

Ein Toter hing im Netz (‘A Corpse Hung in the Web’) is a 1960 West German science fiction horror cheesecake feature film directed by Fritz Böttger and produced by Wolf C. Hartwig (The Head, Dead Sexy, Bloody Moon).

The film was dubbed and released in the United States by Pacemaker Pictures as an adults-only feature titled It’s Hot in Paradise (sometimes advertised as just Hot in Paradise) in March 1962.

It was later re-issued by Pacemaker in November 1965 in a 75 minute edited ‘horror’ version titled Horrors of Spider Island. It was also apparently released in the United States as The Spider’s Web and Girls of Spider Island. 

Pacemaker Pictures specialised in releasing European imported movies, bolstered by their lurid ad campaigns, such as The Slaughter of the Vampires, Terror Creatures from the Grave and Bloody Pit of Horror.

Reviews:

“While watchable even in its shortest version, Horrors of Spider Island becomes a delirious experience with the added nude swimming footage. The atrocious dubbing contains some of the more quotable one-liners around, while D’Arcy’s weird but decidedly non-threatening monster makes up for the decided lack of actual arachnids on screen.” Nathaniel Thompson, Mondo Digital

‘Horrors of Spider Island is actually amusingly bad for a brief while, especially when Webster is holding auditions for the gals before they plunge into the Pacific in a cheaply-conceived plane crash that consists of stock footage and over-acted reaction shots from the cast. Even when they make it aboard the island, the film shows a little bit of promise’. Oh, the Horror!

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“The close-ups of his face are scary, but the editing is awful and the whole movie is confusing.” Michael J. Weldon, The Psychotronic Video Guide

“…garter-belt fetishists are going to be in heaven nearly from start to finish. Of course, great lovers of crappy monster makeup are going to be in heaven, too, even though the were-spider doesn’t get as much screen-time as I would have liked. Indeed, with the were-spider and its little hand-puppet monkey-bug friends on the one hand, and all the lifted skirts and shimmying hips on the other, Horrors of Spider Island would have easily scored enough points to qualify it as a minor classic of trash.” 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting

“Horrors of Spider Island gets more wrong than right, which means it’s an average grindhouse flick. The biggest problem with this film is there’s not enough nudity for a decent exploitation movie and not enough horror for a good creature feature. So, it’s more sizzle than steak. But, I ask you: Isn’t that what the grindhouse was all about?” TheronNeel.com

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“The producers were clearly aiming for nothing more than unabashed unashamed exploitation. They did a great job! The spider makeup covers only the guy’s hands and face, but it looks both real and scary […] The spider resembles those of Cat-Women of the Moon or Missile to the Moon, but it’s smaller and has an evil face.” David Elroy Goldweber, Claws & Saucers

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‘It’s Hot in Paradise makes more sense as a title. The horror is just a distraction, this entire film is about getting trapped on a desert island with a bunch of young dancing girls like buxom Barbara Valentin to flesh out a wild orgy. In other words the entire point of the film is what was cut out of it for this version’. Apocalypse Later

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“It has buxom Teutonic babes in (slightly) skimpy swimwear lounging around being all sexy and occasionally getting into hair-pulling girl-fights, it has hunky men looking for love in all the wrong bikini bottoms, and it has a tropical setting full of azure lagoons and cozy beachside cabins. And for some inexplicable reason it also has horrible mutant killer spider-people-thingies who want to murder them all and eat their flesh!”  Million Monkey Theater

Image credits: Wrong Side of the Art! | Todos el Terror del Mundo

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‘Only the blood of drug addicts can satisfy its thirst!’

Blood Freak is a 1972 American horror feature film, produced and directed by Brad F. Grinter (who also appears on screen as a narrator) and actor Steve Hawkes. It is “the world’s only turkey-monster-anti-drug-pro-Jesus gore film!”

A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl’s sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist.

The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers….

Reviews:

“Peerless, disturbed, and completely stupid, it’s a glorification of all things crooked and perplexing in 70s exploitation films. The sheer concept (and series of events) baffles endlessly, making Grinter and friends’ seeming sincerity a trivial footnote.” Joseph A Ziemba, Bleeding Skull

“If you threw a Ron Ormond pro-Christian message flick, a nauseating H.G. Lewis gorefest, and an anti-pot PSA into a blender, Blood Freak would eventually pour into your glass. Sure, it’s an often-quoted cliche by now, but this movie is like nothing you’ve ever seen before! The acting’s appalling (Chesty Morgan deserves an Oscar compared to these people!), the production values ludicrously cheap, and the script is intensely stupid.” Casey Scott, DVD Drive-In

“What is this movie, then? Bad monster flick? Anti-drug scare film? Christian exploitation cinema? Low-budget mishmash or bad ideas? In truth, Blood Freak is all that and more. A bastard offspring of Herschel Gordon Lewis (and I must say some of the blood and gore effects in this film, particularly one where a guy gets his leg sawed off, are surprisingly effective given the utter incompetence of everything else on display) and Ron Ormond, Blood Freak is unlike anything else that’s ever been made—or ever will be made.” Trash Film Guru

This VHS sleeve utilises artwork for Jesus Franco’s Devil Hunter (1980)

“The acting, makeup and rock music soundtrack are all wonderfully horrible.” Michael Weldon, The Psychotronic Video Guide

“The question of how seriously this was intended lingers, though they don’t look self-aware enough to be implementing much savvy, leaving Blood Freak an endurance test, but a damned weird, at times hilarious, one.” Graeme Clark, The Spinning Image

“Are you a cinema masochist? Do you enjoy your C-movies chock full of atrocious acting, ludicrous plotting, and bargain basement production values? Do you demand your horror sleaze be punctuated by bumbling sex, little sophistication, and tons of hokey symbolism? Then this bird’s for you!” The Terror Trap

“What were Hawkes and Grinter thinking? With the pro-Christian elements, one has to wonder if they were really trying to put a positive message in this movie, while trying to make something “commercial”. But did they really think a movie with such poor production values could be commercial? That turkey head mask will have viewers screaming with laughter, not simply screaming.” The Unknown Movies

“This one belongs in the ‘so terrible it’s hilarious’ genre […] Contains some gore, 70s outfits, some female flesh, Christian preaching, and editing and dialog that would make Ed Wood cringe.” The Worldwide Celluloid Massacre

” … one of the most bizarre, inexplicable and confusing films ever made.” Brian Albright, Regional Horror Films, 1958 – 1990

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‘Gripping sci-fi terror from beyond…’

The Alien Factor is a 1977 American science fiction horror feature film directed and written by Baltimore-based filmmaker Don Dohler [as Donald M. Dohler] (Blood Massacre; The Galaxy Invader; Nightbeast; Fiend). The movie stars Don Leifert, Tom Griffiths, Mary Mertens and features cult actor George Stover.

The film features the special effects of Ernest D. Farino (The Terminator), John Cosentino and Larry Schlecter and was shown frequently on American TV throughout the 1980’s, including Ted Turner’s Superstation.

A young teenage couple making out in a car when an insect-looking monster attacks. Sheriff Cinder must find out what’s causing the killings. Meanwhile, Mayor Wicker (Richard Dyszel) wants to keep a lid on the deaths so a multi-million dollar amusement park can be built…

Reviews:

“To be sure, there are plenty of technical flaws in The Alien Factor, but much like good punk rock, these flaws do not distract from the bigger picture thanks to the sheer amount of enthusiasm shown by the filmmakers. This feeling is further enhanced by the fact that this was Dohler’s first film, and it is clear that he was learning as he went.” Bad Movies for Bad People

“Extremely cheap-looking, amateurishly acted, poorly edited and filled with continuity errors, awful dialogue and cheesy SFX, this isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea. For others, however, it’s going to be a fun and charming no budget creature feature.” The Bloody Pit of Horror

“The Alien Factor is undeniably bad, but it does have a certain energy to it, credit for a guy who went out and just did it. I would not really recommend you go out of your way for it. It is not a good movie, just admirable for the conditions under which it was made.” Critical Outcast

” …incompetent-at-best Dohler’s amalgamation of a standard 1950s aliens on the loose plot line with diverse elements of Jaws and TV’s McCloud thrown in, has become a known entity for aficionados of bad, bad moviemaking thanks to repeated cable showings and a well-received skewering from Cinematic Titanic.” Paul Mavis, DVD Drive-In

” …of special interest to his small-but-loyal legion of fans simply for the fact that it came first and pretty much set the blueprint for all that was to follow, minus a small handful of tricks that he decided not to try again. It’s 80-or-so entertaining minutes of homemade-monster-movie nonsense, and around these parts that is hardly a derogatory description.” Ryan C., Trash Film Guru

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“The special effects for the cosmos are well done, but it’s the monster make-up that’s the highlight. The Alien Factor is fun in fits and starts, but the amateur cast pretty much sinks the flick. Their flat line readings and awkward screen presence makes even the simplest of scenes seem interminable. And because of that, it’s a long 79 minutes.” Mitch Lovell, The Video Vacuum

“Executed with a genuine affection for the genre, this is a fine film for fans of both regional and amateur filmmaking. Worth a view, even if you’re not.” Videohound’s Complete Guide to Cult Flicks and Trash Pics

Cast and characters:

• Don Leifert … Ben Zachary – Crawler; Blood Massacre; The Galaxy Invader; Nightbeast; Fiend
• Tom Griffith … Sheriff Cinder – Nightbeast; Fiend
• Richard Dyszel … Mayor Wicker
• Mary Mertens … Edie Martin
• Richard Geiwitz … Pete
• George Stover … Steven – Killer Campout; Camp Blood 666; Sociopathia; The Galaxy Invader; Nightbeast; et al
• Eleanor Herman … Mary Jane Carter
• Anne Frith … Dr. Ruth Sherman
• Christopher Gummer … Clay
• Don Dohler … Ernie
• Dave Ellis … Richie
• Dave Geatty … Man in Bar
• Margie Van Tassell … Susan
• Tony Malanowski … Ed Miller – director of Curse of the Screaming Dead; Night of Horror

Release:

The Alien Factor was released in the USA on 12 May 1978.

Trivia:

The budget was reportedly just $3,500.

Not to be confused with the 1989 movie of the same name.

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‘Who will survive opening night?’

Blood Theatre – aka Blood Theater and Movie House Massacre – is a 1984 American comedy horror film written and directed by Rick Sloane (Hobgoblins). The movie stars Mary Woronov, Jenny Cunningham, Jonathan Blakely, Andrew Cofrin and Joanna Foxx.

The film includes many bizarre movie house related deaths, such as being fried inside a popcorn machine, stabbed in the ticket booth, electrocuted by a film projector, decapitated by a projection booth partition, stabbed while a movie is playing on screen, smoke inhalation from burning film and a telephone receiver which breaks apart while a dying girl screams hysterically into it.

Reviews:

“Visually this film far exceeds expectations and the murder set pieces are well executed. Without a doubt, when it comes to Z Garde cinema performances are the area where these films suffer the most. Fortunately, when it comes to performances, all is not lost for this film. With it’s greatest asset being Mary Woronov (Sugar Cookies, Eating Raoul)…” Michael Den Boer, 10K Bullets

“Inexperience powers most of the picture, which offers pronounced parody and criticism of the burgeoning multiplex environment of theatrical exhibition, but fails mightily whenever Sloane gets around to arranging murder set pieces. Blood Theater has a lot of issues, a lack of coherency being a major problem…” Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com

“Blood Theatre clocks in at a scant 75 minutes, but it feels like much longer. It could benefit from cutting about 30 minutes of filler to make a decent slasher short, but the picture would still be painfully slow even if the pacing weren’t hampered by irrelevant subplots.” Alex DiVincenzo, Broke Horror Fan

” …if you appreciate incredibly ‘80s hair and clothes, and the uniquely bizarre, very intentional humor of director Rick Sloane (Hobgoblins; the Vice Academy series), there is much here that will warm your heart.” Chiller

” …it’s painfully bad, with some of the most uninspired killings you’ll ever witness in a slasher film. The pacing, dialogue and acting (not one likable character in the whole show) are also horrid and not even cult icon Mary Woronov (as a very stuck-up secretary) or lame attempts at film-within-a-film humor (Clown Whores of Hollywood, yikes!) can save this turkey.” George R. Reis, DVD Drive-In

” …one schizophrenic little cheapie. Rare is the film that fails so resoundingly in two separate genres at the exact same time.” Scott Weinberg, e-FilmCritic.com

“People wander into the cinema and get killed – that’s about the size of it. This geriatric in a tuxedo waddles up to them and stabs them bloodlessly when they aren’t looking- rarely does it get anymore adventurous than that. Yep, the film has no special fx -apart from perhaps the worst decapitation ever committed to celluloid; and maybe half a bottle of ketchup.” Hysteria Lives!

“A truly baffling experience, Blood Theatre is completely ineffective as a horror film (even the gore disappears almost entirely after the opener) and is approached as an impoverished spoof that appears to have been largely improvised during filming and even in the editing room. The exact nature of the threat is fuzzy to say the least, but there’s a lot of amusement to be had in both the tacky nature of the, ahem, “production design” and the silly performances…” Nathaniel Thompson, Mondo Digital

“This bonafide bore is 100% incompetent and yields no surprises; one by one the cast deliver a lifeless performance (especially lead dud Darcy as Tonya Harding lookalike Jennifer). There’s some truly enthusiastic overacting by the bitchy Selena, which manages a titter here and there. But otherwise all but the most adventurous should probably avoid this flaccid (and basically bloodless) drivel.” The Terror Trap

” …Movie House Massacre is incredibly inept. Only the presence of veteran low-budget star Mary Woronov, as the manager’s assistant, makes this film even remotely tolerable.” TV Guide

” …this is an almost stunningly dreadful film with awful acting, set pieces, no apparent story and a horrible plinky-plonky score.” Vegan Voorhees

Cast and characters:

• Mary Woronov as Miss Blackwell – Chopping Mall; TerrorVision; Death Race 2000; Silent Night, Bloody Night
• Jenny Cunningham as Jennifer / Ellen
• Jonathan Blakely as Original Owner
• Andrew Cofrin as Adrian
• Joanna Foxx as Selena
• Stephanie Dillard as Darcy
• Rob-Roy Fletcher as Dean Murdock
• Daniel Schafer as Malcolm
• Cynthia Hartline as Jamie Hart
• Lisa Lindsley as Lisa
• Joni Barnes as Dee-Dee
• Carl Bressler as Pimp
• Troy Martin as Pie Victim
• Tony Goldman as Police Officer
• Paul Schubin as Police Officer
• Bruce Nangle as Ellen’s Lover
• Barrie Metz as Multiplex Employee
• David Millbern as Original Owner (Younger)

Filming locations:

The majority of the movie was shot at the historic Beverly Warner Theater in Beverly Hills. It was later demolished and the site became a bank building.

Running time:

75 minutes

Trivia:

All the movies that play at the Spotlite Theater Multiplex in this film, were short films made by Rick Sloane while he attended Los Angeles City College. They include Clown Whores of Hollywood, Chainsaw Chicks, Amputee Hookers and Nightmare of the Lost Whores.

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‘Don’t say we didn’t warn you!’

Hobgoblins 2 is a 2009 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Rick Sloane (Blood Theatre). The movie stars Josh Mills, Sabrina Bolin, Jason Buuck, Jordana Berliner, Josh Green and Chanel Ryan.

A belated sequel to Sloane’s 1988, Hobgoblins, it was made to look identical to the original film, utilising 35mm film and composite effects, look-alike actors, some of the original costumes and the same puppets.

McCreedy has been locked in a psychiatric hospital after blowing up the film studio to destroy the Hobgoblins, which occurred at the end of the first film. Kevin and his friends are now in college, and their Professor introduces them to McCreedy, who warns them that it is still possible to be attacked by Hobgoblins.

Despite McCreedy’s warning, Kevin and his friends re-encounter the Hobgoblins and must fight against them and their own greatest fears, in order to save their lives…

Reviews:

“It’s a self-aware movie with bad jokes. At first, I thought maybe the director just had a misguided sense of humor and that things were going to at least be charmingly inept throughout. But then the bad jokes kept coming and I started to feel uncomfortable, then annoyed, then cranky.” I Got Here Late

“There’s no point in describing the plot here, as if you’ve seen the first one, you’ve pretty much seen this. Oh the hobgoblins pray on peoples’ fears instead of their fantasies and it’s set a bit later then the first, but otherwise it’s the same thing. Only somewhere worse because the movie’s self-aware how bad it is the time out.” Movieman Kev

Cast and characters:

• Josh Mills … Kevin
• Chanel Ryan … Fantazia
• Sabrina Bolin … Amy
• Jason Buuck … Nick
• Josh Green … Kyle
• Jordana Berliner … Daphne
• Ashley Ausburn … Buffy
• Joy Villa … Candy Striper

Running time:

92 minutes

Release:

Hobgoblins 2 was released on DVD by Shout! Factory on June 23, 2009. A DVD bonus feature, ‘Hobgoblins 2, What Were They Thinking?’, features the original cast of Hobgoblins critiquing the new actors who re-created their roles. Director Rick Sloane discusses how this film was originally planned to go into production two years after the original, and instead, twenty years later, it was shot using the same script.

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‘Invasion of the killer bugs’

Infested is a 2002 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Josh Olson (writer of animated Batman: Gotham Knight and David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence). The movie stars Zach Galligan, Lisa Ann Hadley, Daniel Jenkins and Amy Jo Johnson.

After the funeral of an old friend, a group of New York yuppies gather upstate for a weekend of emotional reflection. However, it all starts to go horribly wrong when they are attacked by an infestation of mutant flies…

Reviews:

” …a story about (magic?) flies, zombies, a thirty something reunion, eighties tunes and some of the most stupid situations ever in a horror flick. The overriding problem is that flies are not scary. There is nothing remotely scary about a fly. Even mass quantities of them don’t bring fear.” Dr. Gore’s Movie Reviews

“Gorehounds will find one or two worthwhile moments (an extended sequence involving a bathroom and someone’s horrifically injured leg is suitably goopy) amidst the tiresome antics, but if you’re enough of a horror freak to give this one a spin – odds are you’ll lose all patience with Infested long before the minute moments of interest pop onto the screen.” Scott Weinberg, e-FilmCritic

“This thing is a steaming pile filled with the worst CG bugs ever and lacks any originality. There’s one pretty lackluster gore effect involving a leg and a pair of nail clippers. You want all of the characters to die after the first five minutes of them being introduced.” One Man’s Garbage

“This entire thing is pretty silly and gets outright ridiculous in the finale; but it still manages to be a mildly amusing timewaster due to its unserious tone and some gooey gore effects (like a pleasing moment where one of the possessed friends gets a crowbar to the head) – just don’t expect much sense.” The Video Graveyard

“The acting, dialog, plot development, (most of the) special effects and anything that must be good to make a half-way professional film are for the most part missing or fifth-rate, and therein lies the joy of the film. Don’t watch Infested expecting quality, watch it for the piece of shit it is and you just might find that it is pretty enjoyable…” A Wasted Life

Buy DVD: Amazon.co.uk

Cast and characters:

• Zach Galligan … Warren – American Bigfoot; The Chair; Hatchet III; Legion of the Dead; Waxwork; Gremlins and Gremlins 2; et al
• Lisa Ann Hadley … Ellen – Dead Above Ground; The Hunger TV series
• Daniel Jenkins … Steven
• Amy Jo Johnson … Jesse – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
• Nahanni Johnstone … Mindy – Witchslayer Gretyl
• Robert Duncan McNeill … Eric – Star Trek: Voyager TV series; Masters of the Universe
• Jack Mulcahy … Bob
• David Packer … Elliot
• Camilla Overbye Roos … Robin
• Tuc Watkins … Carl
• Mark Margolis … Father Morning

Trivia:

Not to be confused with Ticks (1993), which was also released as Infested

More flies:

The Mummy (1999)

The Fly II (1989)

The Fly (1986)

Amityville 3-D (1983)

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Curse of the Fly (1965)

Return of the Fly (1959)

The Fly (1958)

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‘Demons walk among us’

The Vatican Exorcisms is a 2013 American found footage horror film directed by and starring Joe Marino.  The screenplay is by Mauro Paolucci and Salvatore Scarico. The movie also stars and Anella Vastola.

Plot:

Joe Marino, an American filmmaker, travels to Italy to shed light on the phenomenon of exorcisms. Initially, he visits Rome and the Vatican City and films a Black Mass attended by priests.

Then, accompanied by Padre Luigi, an alleged exorcist, Joe travels to the south of Italy, a place where the sacred and profane have always lived together, where Christian rituals are inextricably linked to pagan ones….

Reviews:

“This is a mock-doc that really wants us to think it’s a doc and not a mock-doc, but as either, it’s so unmitigatedly awful, that it really doesn’t matter what the purported filmmakers want us to believe because the only thing that keeps us watching is to see just how awful a movie can get.” Greg Klymkiw, The Film Corner

“There is nothing to offer in The Vatican Exorcisms. The possessed people simply scream a lot. They don’t look very possessed, and don’t really do much more than mutter a few things before flopping around on the ground. The expected happens at the end, but even that winds up getting confused.” Will Brownridge, The Film Reel

“Carefully constructed, this could have been a clever found footage film, but instead has the look and feel of something that was thrown together without much planning. Logic is so sparse within the screenplay that I don’t even feel the need to discuss it.” Ryan Russell Izay, Real Movie News

” …it fails as a found-footage movie too because there is no way even the drunkest teenager would believe this was real. The entire film is edited like a poorly conceived horror movie you would see on YouTube. The music (which should not even be there in the first place) sounds like it came right out of a royalty free music library on the internet.” Lucas Mass, Words on Media

Running time:

76 minutes

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‘Earth was just an appetizer…’

Feeders is a 1995 American science fiction horror feature film directed by John Polonia, Mark Polonia (Black Mass; Blood Red Planet; Splatter Farm; et al) and Jon McBride (Woodchipper Massacre; Cannibal Campout) from a screenplay by Mark Polonia.

A Christmas-themed sequel, Feeders II: Slay Bells, was released in 1998.

Plot:

Two friends, Derek and Bennet, are  travelling through Pennsylvania  when then stumble across little grey aliens who land their flying saucer in the woods and start hunting and eating humans…

Reviews:

“My number one problem with the movie was that I could not stand the characters, because they were so bland. My number two problem was the special effects, because they were universally awful. There was one rather good bloody skull with eyes prop, and there was an awesome shot of an alien gnawing on the doctor’s decapitated head. In the case of the doctor’s head scene, the special effects were still just plain awful, but the scene was priceless.” Bad Movies

“At one time or another, virtually every film ever made has been labeled the worst film ever made by some or another guy, who has hyperbolically vented his or her dislike for a film that in all likelihood wasn’t Feeders, but should have been if their sentiments were meant to be taken seriously. Feeders is a film that makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look positively sublime.” Comp One Flicks

“Bashing Feeders is kind of pointless. It was as low budget and terrible as you would expect just from looking at the video boxThe aliens were puppets that looked ridiculous and the acting was awful. There is so much more that deserves to be trashed but I think it would be best if I just summed it up this way: This movie sucks.” Dr. Gore’s  Movie Reviews

“Now let me talk about the “aliens” in this film. I can easily say, without a doubt, that these are the worst, most idiotic, fake creatures ever built. They move around the screen like Muppets on steroids, bobbing and flopping their rubbery heads with every step.” Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka,  Something Awful

“The Polonia brothers had ten years of semi-pro film-making experience under their belts by this time, so you’d expect better than the same dull static shots, uneven editing, looped audio… and what the heck happened to all the awesome rotting corpse props from Splatter Farm? If they could afford the financial outlay to build stuff like that in 1986, why are they buying horror props from a supermarket in 1996?” To Obscurity and Beyond…

Cast and characters:

• Jon McBride … Derek
• John Polonia … Bennett
• Sebastian Barran … Doctor
• Maria Davis … Donna (as Maria Russo)
• Melissa Torpy … Michelle
• Todd Carpenter … Fisherman
• Gary LeBlanc … Ranger Gordon
• Mark Polonia … Evil Bennett [uncredited]

Filming locations:

Mansfield and Wellsboro, Pennsylvania, USA

Feedback:

In March 2003, Mark Polonia and Jon McBride wrote the following in response to the Something Awful’ website’s negative review of Feeders:

“Feeders was a shot on video project that originally started out as “Invasion.” Once we saw the budget ($500 bucks, no kidding) and the aliens made for us (who couldn’t conquer a girls locker room), we knew we had to change the script. I scaled down the story and wrote something that could be shot in about five days, which is how long it roughly took. Locations were free until the cops showed up and beat us with nightsticks, and actors were… well, recruited in ways I shan’t discuss in public.

We intentionally tried to make a campy throwback (if I can use that word) to the sci-fi films of the 50s, except theirs turned out better. Blockbuster actually did pick it up, and although there were a few disappointed viewers, well okay more than a few, BB laughed all the way to the bank as Feeders became their #1 independent rental for 1996. You can take that however you want. Honestly, Feeders didn’t deserve a Big BB release, but then again, neither do most Hollywood products. Luck, what a fickle thing. Most people who have animosity towards Feeders always say they could do better… well, go right ahead!”

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‘When you raise Hell… the Devil must be paid – in full!’

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare – aka The Edge of Hell – is a 1987 Canadian horror feature film directed by John Fasano (Darkness Falls co-writer;The Jitters; Black Roses) from a screenplay by rock musician and producer Jon Mikl Thor. The latter stars alongside Jillian Peri, Frank Dietz, David Lane and Teresa Simpson.

A belated sequel, Intercessor: Another Rock’n’Roll Nightmare, was released in 2005.

Plot:

Recording some new music in an isolated farmhouse, rock band Triton get more than they bargained for when something horrifying stirs in the darkness. Eternal evil haunts this place and the band members start turning into demons from Hell itself!

After a day of making music – and making love – this band is starting to break up… one by one… limb by limb. The band’s lead singer, John (Jon-Mikl Thor) Triton, holds the key to defeating this horror once and for all – a secret that culminates in a battle between good and evil! Triton versus the Devil himself!

Reviews:

“It’s truly terrible in every way but with lots of that bad movie charm fans of this kind of stuff look for. If you want to see something along the same lines that’s similarly cheesy but more competently-made make sure to give Trick or Treat (1986) or Shock ’em Dead (1991) a gander.” The Bloody Pit of Horror

“As a testament to Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare‘s popularity with schlock fans, it has appeared on the majority of the American bad movie sites, and the film’s notorious reputation has put it in almost the same league as esteemed bad films like Plan Nine from Outer Space, Robot Monster, and The Corpse Grinders.” Canuxsploitation!

“My big hair, masculine make-up, shiny man-boobs, and skin- tight undies tell me that Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is a campy piece of crap that shines like a diamond in the rough. It’s cheesy. It’s ridiculous. It’s a terrible piece of filmmaking. But it’s B-grade entertainment in its highest form.” Full Moon

“The film has some of the most cheap and unconvincing makeup and puppet work of any film of the 1980s. Towards the end, we get a variety of these absurd creature effects – a plate of leftovers in the fridge moving; a one-eyed puppet creature that you cannot help but think resembles a penis; a lizard-like Devil figure that is incredibly immobile; even a puppet that sits and smokes cigarettes.” Moria

“I’m happy I got to experience it, if only so I can tell people I’ve seen both the worst shower scene ever and the oddest ending ever. But you have to go through so much shite to get the good stuff that you really have to have a high level of B-movie tolerance to get the most out of it.” That Was a Bit Mental

Cast and characters:

• Jon Mikl Thor … John Triton
• Jillian Peri … Lou Anne
• Frank Dietz … Roger Eburt
• David Lane … Max
• Teresa Simpson … Randy
• Adam Fried … Phil, The Tritons’ Manager
• Denise Dicandia … Dee Dee
• Jesse D’Angelo … Little Boy
• Rusty Hamilton … Seductress
• Cindy Cirile … Mother (as Clara Pater)
• Chris Finkel … Father
• Liane Abel Dietz … Mary Eburt (as Liane Abel)
• Jim Cirile … Stig
• Gene Kroth … Karl
• Carrie Schiffler … Cindy Connelly
• Tralle O’Farrell … Groupie
• Lara Daans … Groupie (as Layra Daans)
• Nancy Bush … Groupie

Image credits: GrizzlyBomb.com | That Was a Bit Mental

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‘Flying beast out of prehistoric skies!’

The Giant Claw is a 1957 American science fiction monster feature film directed by Fred F. Sears (The Werewolf) from a screenplay by Samuel Newman and Paul Gangelin. The Sam Katzman produced movie stars Jeff Morrow and Mara Corday. It was released by Columbia Pictures.

The Giant Claw is usually mocked for the quality of its special effects. The bird is obviously a marionette puppet with a very odd face. The movie includes copious stock footage, including clips of the explosion of the Los Angeles City Hall from War of the Worlds and collapse of the Washington Monument from Earth vs. the Flying Saucers during the bird’s attack on New York City.

Plot:

While engaged in a radar test flight, Mitch MacAfee (Jeff Morrow), spots an unidentified flying object. Jets are scrambled to pursue and identify the object but one goes missing. Officials are initially angry at MacAfee over the loss of a pilot and jet over what they believe to be a hoax, but are forced to take his story seriously after several other planes disappear.

A gigantic bird “as big as a battleship”, purported to come from an antimatter galaxy (and then later from the year 17,000,000 B.C.), is responsible for all the incidents. Mitch, his mathematician girlfriend Sally Caldwell (Mara Corday), Dr. Karol Noymann (Edgar Barrier), General Considine (Morris Ankrum) and General Van Buskirk (Robert Shayne), work feverishly to develop a way to defeat the seemingly invincible enemy.

The climactic showdown takes place in New York City, with the bird attacking both the Empire State and United Nations buildings.

Buy Sci-Fi Creature Classics DVD – Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com

Reviews:

“This would have been an ordinarily bad movie of its type, with a good performance by Jeff Morrow, if the special effects had been industry standard for the time. That, however, is not what happened. The Claw is not just badly rendered, it is hilariously rendered, resembling nothing so much as Warner Bros. cartoon-character Beaky Buzzard.” AllMovie

“People love it because of its radioactive level of badness. How ironic that the cast treated the material with absolute professionalism only to later discover the cinematic turkey waddle they were ultimately appearing in. The picture is actually quite well made much of the time…” Cool Ass Cinema

“Of all the monsters I’ve ever seen, this snarling, nostril-flaring, ragged, hair-tufted excuse for a buzzard is the most knee-slappingly funny monster ever devised; too bad the movie wasn’t intended as a comedy. Apparently, Sam Katzman saved a bundle of money by having the special effects done by a company in Mexico.” Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings

“While watching The Giant Claw, fire back a shot of Scotch (or any other spirit of your choice, I ain’t fussy), every time someone in the movie refers to the huge-ass monster birdie as being/looking/acting like ‘a battleship’…. I guarantee by the end of the film you’ll either be in hospital for alcohol poisoning, dead, or signing up for the twelve steps to addiction recovery and finding Jesus.” The Horror Hotel

“The Giant Claw is a B-movie blast, a picture that delivers all the brainless monster mayhem you could hope for alongside some fun characters and some ridiculously goofy special effects.” Rock! Shock! Pop!

“Mainly, when not foolhardily taking to the skies for the umpteenth time, the characters spend their hours snapping at each other, then apologising and comforting one other, which can get repetitive. It’s the Claw you’ll be watching for though, its awkwardness hilarious and guaranteed to cheer you up – who says this is a bad movie? It’s great fun.” The Spinning Image

“The Giant Claw is not the worst film ever made, and it is pretty bad, but it is actually watchable and there are moments of suspense to be had though horror is understandably missing. Worth watching for the novelty that it is and nothing more.” The Telltale Mind

“Every time the goofy looking monster shows up, it’s damn good times, but unfortunately everything involving Morrow and the lamebrain scientists is boring as all get out.  The movie is also padded with tons of stock footage and gratuitous narration (“It was a feathered nightmare with wings!”)” The Video Vacuum

Cast and characters:

• Jeff Morrow … Mitch MacAfee
• Mara Corday … Sally Caldwell
• Morris Ankrum … Lt. General Edward Considine
• Louis Merrill … Pierre Broussard (as Louis D. Merrill)
• Edgar Barrier … Dr. Karol Noymann
• Robert Shayne … General Van Buskirk
• Frank Griffin … Pete – Pilot (as Ruell Shayne)
• Clark Howat … Major Bergen
• Morgan Jones … Lieutenant, Radar Officer
• Benjie Bancroft … Civil Aeronautics Board (uncredited)
• Brad Brown … Pool Party Diver (uncredited)
• George Cisar … Admonishing Man on Airliner (uncredited)
• Bud Cokes … Civil Aeronautics Board (uncredited)
• Leonard P. Geer … Paramedic (uncredited)
• Dabbs Greer … Fighter Pilot, in clips from ‘Mission Over Korea’ (uncredited)
• Sol Murgi … Civil Aeronautics Board (uncredited)
• Fred F. Sears … Narrator (voice) (uncredited)
• Robert B. Williams … First State Trooper (uncredited)

Release:

The Giant Claw had only two official VHS releases – one in the USA through Goodtimes Home Video and the other through Screamtime in the United Kingdom. Columbia Pictures finally released it on DVD in October 2007 as part of the two disc four film set Icons of Horror Collection – Sam Katzman.

Trivia:

The working title was Mark of the Claw

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‘They only keep the ones they need’

The Emeryville Experiments is a 2016 American horror feature film written and directed by Indian-born Pritesh N. Chheda (For Sale By Owner). The movie stars Don Daro, Eric Reinholt and Deborah Abbott.

Plot:

When their car crashes, four college students seek help in Emeryville – a dilapidated village. Newcomers discover that place was once a ground for clinical experiments gone awry and plot an escape. They find themselves hunted by crazies…

Reviews:

“In The Emeryville Experiments you get very little concrete creep factor throughout the film. Sequences are loosely tied together and you’re face f*cked by the editing into understanding something isn’t quite right but you just don’t know what that is yet […] Everything is just so unkempt and effortlessly sloppy. ” Dead Puppy

“There’s a very amateurish quality to this film that can’t be denied: the lack of proper mise-en-scene, odd music cues that come and go in a comical manner, and the acting. The look of the film suggests it was shot on an older model consumer mini-DV camera. The poor image quality I didn’t mind so much. The rest, on the other hand, made for a particular viewing experience.” Horror News

“There are too many unrelated stodgy impassioned dialogues that pointlessly drag a scene or two. Quite a few illogical occasions create loose ends making the film all the more trivial. The cinematography along with the editing could have been way better. ” Leaky Loonage

“The plot is an incoherent mishmash. There seems no conviction to the dialogue. The acting from the principal actors is unprofessional and frequently seems to be straining in matters like basic everyday conversations. You get the impression that Pritesh Chheda obtained the use of a Western recreation town somewhere and wrote the film accordingly…” Moria

Cast and characters:

• Don Daro … Trevor
• Eric Reinholt … Doctor Kowolski
• Deborah Abbott … Townfolk
• Nardeep Khurmi … Justin
• Brett Brock … Mayor Smith
• Mark Reininga … Ethan Wolf
• Tess Cline … Christie
• Rebecca Chulew … Townsperson
• Shayla Bagir … Reagan
• Jacob Bitzer … Cole
• Pritesh Chheda … Andy
• D.J. Morrison … Scar
• David Sturgeon … Barber
• Dan Eggleston … Dwarfy
• Isabel Riley … Townsperson
• Taylar Riley … Townsperson
• Shara Loverlady … Townperson
• Isla Riley … Townsperson
• J. Grace Pennington … Townsperson
• Veronica Plata … Townsperson
• Shara Lovelady … Townperson

Trivia:

The original title was Emeryville

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‘A horror film that will stiffen you with laughter!’

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla is a 1952 comedy horror science fiction feature film directed by William Beaudine from a screenplay by Tim Ryan with additional dialogue by ‘Ukie’ Sherin and Edmond G. Seward.

The Realart Pictures production stars Bela Lugosi, Duke Mitchell, Sammy Petrillo (a duo that impersonated Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, they made Scared Stiff the following year), Charlita and Muriel Landers.

Plot:

On their way to perform in Guam for the troops, nightclub performers Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo find themselves stranded on a seemingly treacherous island, known by the natives as “Kola Kola”. The natives are quite friendly, especially Nona (Charlita), the tribal chief’s daughter, who tries to help the two get off the island.

Though paradise has been found, for the time being, the duo soon discovers that a mad scientist named Dr. Zabor (Bela Lugosi) lives on the other side of the island. Seeing a chance to get help, the two visit the strange doctor in his “castle”.

Tension mounts as Duke falls in love with Nona. Seeing Duke as a threat, jealous Dr. Zabor plans to literally make a monkey out of Duke, for he too loves Nona. Sammy tries to help his pal, with unexpected results…

Reviews:

“As far as Lugosi is concerned, he plays his role straight […] and is fine. If anything, this film proves that it does indeed get worse than starring in Ed Wood movies as the films Lugosi made for the supposed “worst director of all time” are infinitely more interesting and entertaining that this one.” The Bloody Pit of Horror

“Bela is good in his patented “mad scientist” role, rising above the crappy material. He’s adept at comedy, too, as he’d proved years earlier in films like Broadminded and International House. Even in his deteriorated state, Bela Lugosi is better than anyone else in this dud.” Gary Loggins, Cracked Rear Viewer

“Poor Bela. By the time he got to the Fabulous 50s, he was sharing the screen with everything from a rubber octopus to transvestites. But nothing could have been more demeaning than acting alongside the flash-in-the-pan, non-comical duo of Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo.” Joe Lozowsky, DVD Drive-In

“Laughs are thin on the ground, as is the plotting. There is some amusement to be had seeing Petrillo clap Lugosi on the back and shout, “Hiya Pop!”, but the rest of the gags are more along the lines of Petrillo being chased around by a fat girl…” Graeme Clark, The Spinning Image

Cast and characters:

• Bela Lugosi … Dr. Zabor
• Duke Mitchell … Duke Mitchell
• Sammy Petrillo … Sammy Petrillo
• Charlita … Nona
• Muriel Landers … Saloma
• AAl Kikume … Chief Rakos
• Mickey Simpson … Chula
• Milton Newberger … Bongo – the Witch Doctor
• Martin Garralaga … Pepe Bordo / Waiter
• Steve Calvert … Gorilla (uncredited)
• Ray Corrigan … Gorilla (uncredited)
• Luigi Faccuito … Native Warrior (uncredited)
• William Wilkerson … Native Warrior (uncredited)

Running time:

74 minutes

Production:

Filmed over a six-day period at the General Service Studios (now the Hollywood Center Studios) in Los Angeles on a budget of $12,000.

Release:

Released on September 4, 1952 in New York City. The movie was later reissued as The Boys from Brooklyn

Trivia:

The original title was White Woman of the Lost Jungle

Decades later, the film was referenced by Martin Landau, who watched it three times in preparation for his role as Lugosi in Tim Burton’s biopic Ed Wood, saying that it was “so bad that it made Ed Wood’s films look like Gone with the Wind.”

Image credits: The Bloody Pit of Horror

Related:

Going Ape! – A Short History of Who’s Inside the Gorilla Suit – article

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Tender Dracula, or Confessions of a Blood Drinker – original title: Tendre Dracula or, alternately, La Grande Trouille “The Big Funk” – is a 1974 French comedy horror feature film directed by Pierre Grunstein. The movie stars Peter Cushing, Alida Valli, Miou-Miou, Bernard Menez and Nathalie Courval.

Review:

A frantic television executive dispatches two bungling writers, Alfred (Bernard Menez, La Grande Bouffe, Dracula and Son) and Boris (Stéphane Shandor), to convince acting legend MacGregor (horror mainstay, Peter Cushing) not to throw away his peerless career playing a vampire in order to branch out into the world of slushy romance.

They head off to a remote Scottish castle where the actor resides, taking with them two budding actresses, Madeleine (Nathalie Courval) and Marie (a regularly undressed, be-wigged Miou-Miou) and soon encounter resident butler Abélard (Percival Russel) and MacGregor’s wife (Alida Valli, another horror legend, seen in the likes of Suspiria, The Antichrist and Lisa and the Devil), both of whom veer from Carry On to existential experimentation in the blink of an eye.

We finally meet a Keats-spouting MacGregor, already way beyond convincing to change his new career path but the remaining seventy minutes care little about such frippery.

Struggling to decide which genre it wants to demolish, we are regularly distracted by a stream of nudity, none of which is anything other than typical 70’s softcore but all of it somewhat jarring when considering Peter Cushing‘s name is above the title – those alarmed at his participation in the sleazy Corruption should take a cold shower.

Some singing also ensues but fortunately both Valli and Cushing steer clear, both looking occasionally like they are prepared for the film to start in earnest. As the film progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult to tell whether the actor is leading his guests along or he has grand designs on his prey.

The presence of Valli and Cushing, as well as a castle, should be foolproof enough to ‘get by’ but this oddly-pitched French production is far too satisfied with its props to go to the effort of story/script/wit/point. This, mercifully, was Pierre Grunstein’s only directorial effort, though his career as a producer (Jean de Florette, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) would suggest he wasn’t utterly blind to talent and filmmaking skill.

Made during the period during when Cushing was still in deep mourning for the loss of his wife, Helen, it is easy to see the actor throwing himself into any old project to distract him from his misery, though this is somewhat wobbly as an appeal, given it also being the period of some of his greatest roles, Tales from the Crypt, Horror Express, Madhouse and so on.

The muddled cast, with Cushing‘s voice dubbed by French acting titan Jean Rochefort in the original release, appear to be acting alongside rather than with each other; both Courval and Miou-Miuo regularly burst out into song in a strange Greek Chorus, seemingly an attempt to remind everyone where we are in the plot.

In the most preposterous scene, Cushing spanks Miou-Miou, the kind of thing you could get away with in 1974, with the chances of English-speaking audiences ever viewing the film being slim. What we do get is a glimpse of is Cushing as The Count, more redolent of the smooth Lugosi vamp than Lee’s aristocrat but still only an interesting footnote than a statement.

So confused is the aim, especially as Euro-humour rarely travels well at the best of times, that it’s hard to be too damning of the film, purely because it’s difficult to know what the point was in the first place. Towards the end, Cushing‘s character flicks through a scrapbook containing photos of some the real actor’s most famous roles. You’d think that at this point someone would have twigged that something had gone terribly astray in the very production they were working on.

Daz Lawrence, HORRORPEDIA

Other reviews:

“Though the movie has a clear center (the horror vs. romance theme), it’s sometimes nearly impossible to tell what many of the surrounding scenes have to do with this theme, and for a comedy, I found it laughless. I think Cushing is giving a good performance, but in this mess it’s hard to appreciate.” Dave Sindelar, Fantastic Movie Musings and Ramblings

“There’s a silly song sung by Miou-Miou, a hallucinative dream-sequence involving a girl cut in half with her lower half still walking around the grounds, a strange butler, who used to be vampire’s wife’s husband, who seems handy with an axe, a sadistic vampire wife, shoehorned scenes involving gypsies and the vampire’s gravedigger father […] A definite oddity, but much more confusing than entertaining.” The Worldwide Celluloid Massacre

Cast and characters:

• Peter Cushing … MacGregor
• Alida Valli … Héloïse / Mabel
• Bernard Menez … Alfred
• Miou-Miou … Marie (as Miou Miou)
• Nathalie Courval … Madeleine
• Stéphane Shandor … Boris (as Stephane Shandor)
• Julien Guiomar … Le producteur
• Percival Russel … Abélard, le serviteur
• Brigitte Borghese … La secrétaire du producteur (as Brigitte de Borghese)
• Valentina Cortese … (uncredited)
• Robert Edwards … MacGregor as Child (uncredited)

Some images above appear courtesy of the Peter Cushing Blog

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The Curse of the Screaming Dead is a 1982 American horror feature film directed by Tony Malanowski from a screenplay written by Lon Huber. It was picked up for distribution in 1987 by Troma Entertainment and retitled Curse of the Cannibal Confederates. The film follows six young friends who unwillingly raise the undead corpses of Confederate soldiers, resulting in what the video box promises as a &

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‘Don’t say we didn’t warn you!’ Hobgoblins 2 is a 2009 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Rick Sloane (Blood Theatre). The movie stars Josh Mills, Sabrina Bolin, Jason Buuck, Jordana Berliner, Josh Green and Chanel Ryan. A belated sequel to Sloane’s 1988, Hobgoblins, it was made to look identical to the original film...

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‘Invasion of the killer bugs’ Infested is a 2002 American science fiction horror feature film written and directed by Josh Olson (writer of animated Batman: Gotham Knight and David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence). The movie stars Zach Galligan, Lisa Ann Hadley, Daniel Jenkins and Amy Jo Johnson. Plot: After the funeral of an old friend, a group of New York yuppies gather...

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‘Demons walk among us’ The Vatican Exorcisms is a 2013 American found footage horror film directed by and starring Joe Marino. The screenplay is by Mauro Paolucci and Salvatore Scarico. The movie also stars and Anella Vastola. Plot: Joe Marino, an American filmmaker, travels to Italy to shed light on the phenomenon of exorcisms. Initially, he visits Rome and the Vatican City and films...

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‘Earth was just an appetizer…’ Feeders is a 1995 American science fiction horror feature film directed by John Polonia, Mark Polonia (Black Mass; Blood Red Planet; Splatter Farm; et al) and Jon McBride (Woodchipper Massacre; Cannibal Campout) from a screenplay written by Mark Polonia. A Christmas-themed sequel, Feeders II: Slay Bells, was released in 1998. Plot:

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‘When you raise Hell… the Devil must be paid – in full!’ Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare – aka The Edge of Hell – is a 1987 Canadian horror feature film directed by John Fasano (Darkness Falls co-writer;The Jitters; Black Roses) from a screenplay by rock musician and producer Jon Mikl Thor. The latter stars alongside Jillian Peri, Frank Dietz...

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‘Flying beast out of prehistoric skies!’ The Giant Claw is a 1957 American science fiction monster feature film directed by Fred F. Sears (The Werewolf) from a screenplay by Samuel Newman and Paul Gangelin. The Sam Katzman produced movie stars Jeff Morrow and Mara Corday. It was released by Columbia Pictures. The Giant Claw is usually mocked for the quality of its special effects.

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